Intermediate Reading Practice
Level: A2
Skill: Read
Topic: Relationships
Why a Hug Works Better Than a Like
Last week, I noticed something simple. A student came into class looking tired and quiet. Another student walked over, sat next to her, and just talked with her for a few minutes before the lesson started. By the time we began, she looked completely different — relaxed, and smiling.
Nothing complicated happened. No advice was given. Someone simply spent time with her (did something together, without rushing).
This is oxytocin at work — often called “the bonding chemical.” Your brain releases oxytocin when you connect with people you care about. It doesn’t need a big moment to happen. A hug, a hand on your shoulder, a real conversation — these are often enough.
Some of these interactions are quick. You make eye contact with someone (look directly into their eyes), or you high-five a friend to celebrate. These create a fast, small burst of connection.
Other interactions take longer. You cook with your family, or you have a real conversation with someone close to you. These build something deeper over time. We often call this bonding (a strong emotional connection between people).
Here’s an interesting comparison. Think about how different this feels from checking likes on a photo you posted, or replying to messages on your phone. Those things can feel nice for a second, but they don’t create the same effect. Oxytocin responds to real, direct connection — being physically present, or genuinely (honestly, truly) engaged (actively involved and paying attention) with someone. A message can tell you someone is thinking of you, but it can’t replace the feeling of someone actually sitting with you, listening to you, or helping you carry something heavy.
This might explain why a five-minute conversation with a close friend can leave you feeling better than an hour of scrolling through messages. One is triggering (causing to happen) real connection. The other is just information.
Oxytocin doesn’t only come from big relationships either. It shows up in small, everyday moments: your grandparents patting you on the back, a neighbour helping you carry your shopping, a classmate waving to you across the room. None of these need to be dramatic to matter.
What’s useful about understanding this is simple: if you want to feel more connected (close to someone, part of something), you don’t need a big event. You need real interaction — even brief, small moments count, as long as they are genuine.
I think about that student often. She didn’t need a solution to whatever was on her mind that day. She just needed someone to sit with her for five minutes. That’s often all bonding really is.